Yesterday I read a blog post on inthefrow about getting back into old hobbies. It reminded that I haven’t done anything textiles/sewing related for a long time and that I don’t spend enough time writing just for fun.
Sewing is something I’ve been doing from a young age. It began with me and my sister using fabric scraps to hand sew dolls clothes then when I was 9 I joined the sewing club at school where I first learnt to hand embroider. As I got older Textiles was always a subject I enjoyed and did best in at school.
Last year in January I got my very own sewing machine and I was so happy as I had wanted one for a very long time. Fast forward to present day and I haven’t used my machine since August. The feeling I get when I’m creating something is amazing and I miss it. I already have a few things I want to make or alter I just need to get to it.
I spend more time thinking about writing than I do actually writing. I was recently inspired to start writing fiction again as I haven’t done so since secondary school. It won’t be for my blog, it’ll be for me and for fun. In terms of blog posts I have an ever-growing list of 40+ ideas but I rarely get round to actually writing them out.
Procrastination is one of the reasons I haven’t been pursuing my interests as much I as could have been. I want to be good at the things I do but I constantly worry that I won’t be (it’s a vicious circle!) and sometimes it ends up seeming better to not bother than to try and feel disappointed.
I’ve felt like that with many things in life but it’s only now when I’ve done some reflection and become consciously aware of the habit, that I am able to realise it is something I have to work on.
I want to end this post with a quote from a book by Paul Arden:
“Aim beyond what you are capable of. Try things you are incapable of. Make your vision a reality.”
Towards the end of last summer I started feeling unwell. I spent a lot of days in bed crying. I felt sad about how certain things in my life had turned out but also angry at myself. I would wake up in the morning and count the hours until I could be asleep again because the days became unbearable. I felt like I had no control over anything, completely hopeless and that I was stuck inside this dark place with no escape.
I was struggling so badly that I did something I’ve never really done before. I asked for help.
Fast forward 5 months later and I feel the best I have felt in a really long time. It is only from having a great day from start to finish that I realised how far I have come since September. I don’t feel like I’m stuck any more and I’m starting to feel like I can cope with life. I’ve turned a page and started a new chapter in my life.
I wanted to share this because one of the hardest things for me was feeling like I was alone and that I was the only one going through this. Something that really helped me was reading online about other people who had gone through/were going through similar things to me. It felt like an invisible hand was being extended out to me.
If you can relate to this post then think of it as me extending my hand out to you and if you want to chat then firstname.lastname@example.org is my email or you can just leave a comment.
That’s all for now,
Tomorrow is a new day,
Reach out and grasp it.
Make someone smile.
Live a remarkable life.
I’ve been feeling quite inspired lately and have been getting back into doing all the things I enjoy. Life can be really serious and scary but it’s also finite so I’m learning to let go of things.
I want my life to be the best it can possibly be.
Last year on AS results day I cried because my grades were so terrible and it was all there in writing. I felt so bad because I’d gotten caught up in things that were (in truth) insignificant and I didn’t try nearly as hard as I should have.
This year I have a feeling I’ll cry again not because my results were good/bad. I’ll cry because today is like totally the end of college, the past 2 years summed up with a few letters.
The past 2 years have probably been the best of my life. I’ve grown up so much from the 16 year old that walked in to the 18 year old that strolled out. I’ve learnt so much inside and outside of lessons, made new friends that I hope to keep and met new people that truly changed me and taught me things. Some of these people were so unlike anyone I’ve ever met. I’m so much more confident in myself and a lot more expressive.
I’ll miss college so much it was stressful yet lots of fun. Although, that time I guess has now passed and I’m now an adult ready to start making my mark on the world, I will always have the memories and all the pages that I wrote at the point in time when I became myself.
“I used to sit and watch the world, but now the world is looking back”
If you missed part 1 click here.
Somehow by the time I started college things started to change, and I didn’t realise how much, until about 6 months ago. I became more self-confident, I learnt to accept myself, I made lots of new friends, I stopped thinking I wasn’t good at anything and I began to feel that sense of belonging. Now I take pride in the fact that I’m very different to a lot of people. The thing I used to dislike about myself is now the thing I love most.
LMG used to stand for little miss gemm which was the name of my old blog. However now lmg is more of a concept it stands for me being completely myself. Blogging definitely helped me a lot.
I decided to share all this with you because it’s a snippet of this life I’m living. I don’t feel the need to hold it in because everybody goes through hard times. Finally after about 6/7 years I’m not scared to talk about it. I see this blog as a place of self-expression where I can be honest and truthful and don’t have to hold back on anything.
So this is what I wore for my last day of college, its pretty simple but it did get me some compliments 😀
Also even though I’ve had my last official day at college, I still have to go in for exams. I have 6 left!
I hadn’t really made any plans in advance, as I didn’t really know who I wanted to spend my last day with or what I wanted to do.
As college was over and we were all heading out, I began to feel kind of sad, the end of college means the start of change. I’m not very good at embracing change, despite my best efforts, I often find myself looking back on the way things used to be.
In a few weeks I’ll be 18, in a few months many of my friends will be off to University in different cities all over England and I currently have no solid life plan.
Anyway, as I walked out I was actually going to go home but then I went to say goodbye to a couple of friends who I’ve known for over 10 years. It’s so weird to think that I’ve known them for more than half my life.
Then I ended up going for lunch with a group of friends then to see ‘X-men: Days of Future Past’, in the evening. The movie was amazing by the way, so if you’ve been thinking about seeing it, go for it as you wont be disappointed.
I’m the kind of person that puts a lot of stress/significance on little things like ‘my last day at college’, so it was imperative to me that the day turned out amazingly.
The day didn’t turn out anything like how I thought it would though, it was so much better. Definitely a memorable day!