Towards the end of last summer I started feeling unwell. I spent a lot of days in bed crying. I felt sad about how certain things in my life had turned out but also angry at myself. I would wake up in the morning and count the hours until I could be asleep again because the days became unbearable. I felt like I had no control over anything, completely hopeless and that I was stuck inside this dark place with no escape.
I was struggling so badly that I did something I’ve never really done before. I asked for help.
Fast forward 5 months later and I feel the best I have felt in a really long time. It is only from having a great day from start to finish that I realised how far I have come since September. I don’t feel like I’m stuck any more and I’m starting to feel like I can cope with life. I’ve turned a page and started a new chapter in my life.
I wanted to share this because one of the hardest things for me was feeling like I was alone and that I was the only one going through this. Something that really helped me was reading online about other people who had gone through/were going through similar things to me. It felt like an invisible hand was being extended out to me.
If you can relate to this post then think of it as me extending my hand out to you and if you want to chat then firstname.lastname@example.org is my email or you can just leave a comment.
That’s all for now,
If you missed part 1 click here.
Somehow by the time I started college things started to change, and I didn’t realise how much, until about 6 months ago. I became more self-confident, I learnt to accept myself, I made lots of new friends, I stopped thinking I wasn’t good at anything and I began to feel that sense of belonging. Now I take pride in the fact that I’m very different to a lot of people. The thing I used to dislike about myself is now the thing I love most.
LMG used to stand for little miss gemm which was the name of my old blog. However now lmg is more of a concept it stands for me being completely myself. Blogging definitely helped me a lot.
I decided to share all this with you because it’s a snippet of this life I’m living. I don’t feel the need to hold it in because everybody goes through hard times. Finally after about 6/7 years I’m not scared to talk about it. I see this blog as a place of self-expression where I can be honest and truthful and don’t have to hold back on anything.
So for the past couple days I haven’t been feeling too great.
Do you ever have those days when you have something on your mind and you don’t really know what to do about it. You spend al day worrying about the problem, yet you never actually come to a conclusion on what to do.
Anyway on day 3 of walking around with a frown on my face I unintentionally managed to cheer myself up 🙂
Watching youtube videos
Sometimes its just seeing that people are out there doing things that inspires me and when something inspires me, it’s like get a big energy boost and I can do anything.
Making a mental/physical note of all the good things that have happened in the day
My morning was actually great because I spent it with a guy friend who I really like hanging out with. He was really chatty and made me laugh and smile. At one point I was saying how I want to be called a lady (over girl or women) and he said he wanted me to call him a gentleman, which made me laugh- not to say he doesn’t have the gentlemanly qualities (handsome, smart and charming). When I was with him I forgot all about the frustrating problem that’s been my burden for the past 3 days.
Painting my nails
Maybe this one makes me a little shallow, but it’s the truth. I love painting my nails and it was the last thing I did. As I applied the last brush stroke I found myself smiling.
Have you ever had one of those days where you are really happy on the inside, so much so that it starts to show on the outside, like you just find yourself smiling randomly. Well that was me yesterday.
I wore a stripy grey sweater with a floral jacket and grey trousers. The floral jacket is from h&m and I’ve had it for over a year. Even though I’ve had it for while I still love it as its a great way to add something extra to an outfit especially in winter when I end up wearing alot of grey and black.
Yesterday at college I spent over 3 hours working on my final piece for textiles. When my teacher came to look and see how I was getting on, she said she really liked my work ,which made me happy, as I’ve been working really hard on it.
Good Morning 🙂
Right now I’m in a great mood, really happy, full of energy and ready to take on the world!
I can’t remember the last time I felt like this on a Monday morning, but I like it.
…all the presents where wrapped up and under the tree with Christmas music playing on the radio and festivity in the air.
Well errr I’m not really sure how it goes…
So right now I’m actually just hanging out at home listening to TLCs first album ‘Oooh on the TLC tip’ and lovin’ it, whilst waiting for my nails to dry.
My original plans for Christmas Eve were to go out with my friends for Christmas drinks, but unfortunately for me my parents don’t like me going out doing that sort of thing so I’m staying home and not being a ‘rebel’ child (actually since I’m 17 1/2 I’m practically an adult but whatever).
Anyway I’m right now I’m feeling festive and ‘plein de vie’ (full of life)!
p.s. Ok I’ll admit I’m a little excited 😮 !!!!!
Sometimes I feel like that’s how I am emotionally like all good things will be followed by something bad (which is probably why I’m often kinda tense and on edge).
Today has been a weird day for me I’ve been happy, sad, happy, sad… (you get the idea).
I wasn’t feeling either of these emotions to any kind of extreme but lots of little things keep getting me down.
Despite all the little bad things I’m choosing to dismiss them and keep happy and positive about life.
Anyway I’ll just share with you 3 songs I listened that made me feel better.
Jake Epstien- Rescue you
Joanna Pacitti- Out from under
TLC- Somethin’ you wanna know
Moving on tomorrow is the last day of college before the Christmas holidays and I’m full of anticipation (I get really excited about these kind of things). I’ve kind of planned 2 outfits but I’m not sure whether which outfit is the best option. I feel like its a big thing my last college outfit of 2013, like that’s major!
Outfit 1- Black/grey skinny jeans, dark green baggy cable knit jumper and a studded denim vest.
Outfit 2- Pink mini skirt with a sweater… (that’s all I got so far)
Anyway that’s it for now, I’m full of anticipation with much to prep for tomorrow…
p.s.- I intended to post this yesterday but I fell asleep before I clicked publish, oops!