Old hobbies and bad habits

Yesterday I read a blog post on inthefrow about getting back into old hobbies. It reminded that I haven’t done anything textiles/sewing related for a long time and that I don’t spend enough time writing just for fun.

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Sewing is something I’ve been doing from a young age. It began with me and my sister using fabric scraps to hand sew dolls clothes then when I was 9 I joined the sewing club at school where I first learnt to hand embroider. As I got older Textiles was always a subject I enjoyed and did best in at school.

Last year in January I got my very own sewing machine and I was so happy as I had wanted one for a very long time. Fast forward to present day and I haven’t used my machine since August. The feeling I get when I’m creating something is amazing and I miss it. I already have a few things I want to make or alter I just need to get to it.

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I spend more time thinking about writing than I do actually writing. I was recently inspired to start writing fiction again as I haven’t done so since secondary school. It won’t be for my blog, it’ll be for me and for fun. In terms of blog posts I have an ever-growing list of 40+ ideas but I rarely get round to actually writing them out.

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Procrastination is one of the reasons I haven’t been pursuing my interests as much I as could have been. I want to be good at the things I do but I constantly worry that I won’t be (it’s a vicious circle!) and sometimes it ends up seeming better to not bother than to try and feel disappointed.

I’ve felt like that with many things in life but it’s only now when I’ve done some reflection and become consciously aware of the habit, that I am able to realise it is something I have to work on.

I want to end this post with a quote from a book by Paul Arden:

“Aim beyond what you are capable of. Try things you are incapable of. Make your vision a reality.”

Jimi x

Pollyanna is always a winner

2 days ago I began my day getting ready for work and for no particular reason I wasn’t in the best mood. All of a sudden I had this epiphany: ‘I can take control of how my day turns out. I can be like Pollyana and make today a good day’.

It probably sounds silly but I just kept reminding myself to have a good day. The strange thing was not only did that positive thought become a reality but the day also. got better and better.

Not long before I finished work my friend that I work with got a call from a college friend (who I also know) and tells me a few of them are meeting him after work. I ended up going too because I always have fun hanging out with the guys.

Instead of names i’ll give the guys numbers.

1 is the guy that I work with and he is kind and super chilled.

2 is they guy I don’t know too much but I know he is a good friend.

3 is a guy I’ve known since primary school (over 10 years), who always makes me laugh and I totally adore him.

So me and 1 left work, met 2 and 3 then they started talking about the other guy we were meeting with.

4, who I last spoke to over 6 months ago and things were pretty awkward for me. However prior to this I considered him a great friend and someone that I trusted more than most.

After finding out 4 was going to be there I was tempted to go home because the thought of seeing him was terrifying.

That’s when my morning epiphany came back to me and also the phrase ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ and then I just knew I couldn’t miss this opportunity to do something that scared me a little.

So we all went to meet 4 and everything was fine, in fact it went amazingly well.

We were just hanging out listening to music and the one song that I’d never heard before stuck in my mind: Can’t stop by Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Everytime I hear that song it will take me back to March 21st which turned  out to be a pretty special day.

That day I realised that ‘Pollyanna is always a winner’.

I also realised that ‘Situation is just that, it has no special power, to do you harm, it’s your actions that count’. Well actually that’s a Funkadelic lyric but March 21st gave was an example that showed me it is true.

 

XO lmg

 

 

Documenting my life

Happy 300th blog post to me!

When I was 11 I decided that I was going to start writing a journal. Less than 2 years later I got my first phone and used it to take pictures but also to take note of thoughts I had whilst out and about. 2 1/2 years later I created my first blog on WordPress a place online where I would share my interests and also write about my life.

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Fast forward to present day and I am still doing all of these things. I am on journal number 14 (I think), still take photos and make notes on my current phone and I am still blogging.

I’ve come to the conclusion that documenting my life is not just a habit, it’s instinct. One of the reasons is this fear of growing up and forgetting. When I was 9 or 10 a friend told me how her relative had dementia and I remember thinking it sounded terrifying. A few years ago I sat on my bed writing in my journal thinking that if my memory ever went then at least I would have my whole life documented in my journals.

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What I find almost strange is a lot of what has been written in my journals is about being unhappy or unsatisfied and other things that I have struggled with since I was a pre-teen, yet I am so keen to never forget.

Sometimes I feel like my whole life has been spent striving for something just out of reach. Maybe I spend so much time documenting my life because I secretly believe that at some point I will accomplish all that I have strived for and when I do I want to remember what I had gone through prior.

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When it comes to blogging I love writing about my life it’s like another version of my journal at times (minus the finer details). I like writing about the ideas and thoughts I have on life because I feel like they are worth sharing and also because I’d like to think that there is at least one other person who has thought the same thing or can get something from it.

This year I also started a scrapbook kinda thing. So far I have only done 2 or 3 pages per month but I enjoy it. Honestly I love spending time doing craft stuff because I feel so chilled doing it and it reminds me of when I was younger. Creating a scrapbook is just another way for me to document the year alongside my journals and blogging.

Writing about my life has helped me become more confident as a person because from doing so I’ve learnt a lot about myself. However I still have a long way to go but it’s all just part of life. The thing that gives me hope though is thinking of how far I have come since I was 11 and that makes me very happy.

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Thanks for reading, you are all SPECTACULAR.

 

XO lmg

2014: Becoming more me

I think the easiest way for me to sum up 2014 would be to split it into 2 parts.

The first 6 months were the last months at college and the beginning of summer. I think I was happiest in March+April as that was the time when I was having the most fun. Towards the end I was a little sad college was ending and highly stressed about projects and exams.

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In the last 6 months I feel like I have become a different person that is living a completely different life so separate from the girl I once was. I have experienced some difficult things that have changed my perspective. I have learnt that being in education made it easy not to deal with other important things in my life. wpid-img_20140702_091914.jpg

That being said it hasn’t been all bad. I feel like I’m becoming more me which is a really good thing. I’ve been reading so much more, currently I’m reading ‘The adventures of Tom Sawyer’ and it’s great. I’ve also gotten back into writing and that is something that has always been important to me. The past few months have taught me a lot.

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My biggest lesson of 2014 would have to be learning to be more open and more confident in all aspects: my feelings, opinions, the way I dress and the things I write about.

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This year has been interesting but here’s to 2015!

XO lmg

Confidence and compliments

I often find that these 2 go hand in hand. Just this week, a girl told my little sister she thought I was pretty and that made me feel good (especially as I wasn’t wearing make-up that day, minus the brows).

Despite this I just want to express that I don’t think it’s good to rely on compliments for your confidence, I think it’s important to accept the way you  look.

I don’t see myself as pretty or ugly.

I just think I look the way I look and I’m  happy with it 🙂

 

XO lmg

 

 

lmg June: Becoming lmg pt 2

If you missed part 1 click here.

Somehow by the time I started college things started to change, and I didn’t realise how much, until about 6 months ago. I became more self-confident, I learnt to accept myself, I made lots of new friends, I stopped thinking I wasn’t good at anything and I began to feel that sense of  belonging. Now I take pride in the fact that I’m very different to a lot of people. The thing I used to dislike about myself is now the thing I love most.

LMG used to stand for little miss gemm which was the name of my old blog. However now lmg is more of a concept it stands for me being completely myself. Blogging definitely helped me a lot.

I decided to share all this with you because it’s a snippet of this life I’m living. I don’t feel the need to hold it in because everybody goes through hard times. Finally after about 6/7 years I’m not scared to talk about it. I see this blog as a place of self-expression where I can be honest and truthful and don’t have to hold back on anything.

Thank you,

XO lmg

Lover of lace

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There was a time when I wouldn’t have worn this outfit, just the mere thought of it would have made me wince. I’d have worried that my stomach wasn’t flat enough, my thighs were too big and I would walk around with constant fear of what other people thought of the way I was dressed.

I feel like as I’ve gotten older,  I’m more confident with the way I dress. It’s actually a really great feeling because now I’m not as restricted with what I wear and I can be more experimental.

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I must admit that these shorts have definitely grown on me. I still think they are super short and I doubt I’ll ever wear them without tights or leggings, but I must admit that I like them a lot.

I paired the shorts with black leggings a black crop top and my lace tee. I feel like the high neckline of the lace tee provides some modesty even though you can see right through it, but I would have felt naked without it.

I really liked this outfit and felt comfortable wearing it.  I threw on a navy oversized shirt just in case I got a little cold or I felt like covering up!

XO lmg